You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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