I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
