I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize