I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
