they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
