he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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