You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
