sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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