My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize