I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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