I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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