he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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