What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
