dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
