Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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