I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
