God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
