we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I forget how to act sober
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