She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
