We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
