In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
