forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
