happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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