The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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