we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
