I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
