I'm gonna have a badass scar
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
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Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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