It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
