just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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