Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize