I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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