Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
