Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
