weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
