Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
