Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The air was thick with penises
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
