i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
