life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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