Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
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Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
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I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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