my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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