Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
