Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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