you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize