She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
