he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
