I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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