She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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