He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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