one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
