I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
