Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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