I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Panties = found
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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