On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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