There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
