Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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