Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
