you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
