don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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